2 – Life without mistakes is like, education without books.
3 – When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic.
4 – Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
5 – That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like “F*ck this shit lets work at McDonald’s”.
8 – They say: Don’t drink and drive. Well, yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a bad@ss.
9 – They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.
10 – You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.
11 – Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
12 – You’re already a successful personal. The things we take for granted someone else is praying for.
13 – Had a really great ‘Night Out’ last night, according to my police report.
14 – If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
17 – When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it’s like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
18 – A tear is made of 1% of water and 99% of feelings.
19 – Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
20 – Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
21 – Taking revenge is wrong…very very wrong.. But very very fun.
24 – There comes a point in life, when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.
25 – Always smiling, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile.. Smile please!